


BALANCE

by Kbug73



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love, Love Confessions, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 20:05:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14409618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kbug73/pseuds/Kbug73
Summary: Following the battle on Crait, and the demise of Supreme Leader Snoke, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and Rey must try to determine the new roles they must play and come to terms with the residual connection that continues to bond them together.





	1. Chapter 1

**_REY_ **

            I stand in the entranceway of the Falcon, urging all the passengers on from the abandoned base on Crait, eager to get off this salty planet and to safety, far away from the First Order. The adrenaline that was coursing through me from the rush of the escape, and strength I found in clearing a path for my friends from the mountain, has evaporated from me, revealing an all too familiar feeling that was niggling at the back of my senses. I cast my eyes forward and see him before me, kneeling on the floor of the abandoned base, so clear as though he were mere feet away, instead of the mirage I have become all to accustomed to seeing through the Force Bond between us. Ben…Kyle…no, Ben.

            I do not know what shocks me more, the fact that the bond still exists, despite Snoke having been vanquished by Ben in the Throne Room. Or the look on Ben’s face. I see a wave of emotions wash over him, so easily readable in spite of the cold/cut off exterior he usually effortlessly exhibits to everyone else…everyone else, but me. His eyes speaking to me silently, pleading with me not to go. The look on his face…lost, defeated, then angry and broken…and then… something more…something just beyond my understanding. I try to grasp what it is and for a moment I hesitate, my hand resting on the level to close the bay door of the Falcon, conflicted as to what to do. I want to speak, but I cannot find the words. My head and heart battling with one another, trying to reason with one another about the choice I need to make. Just as my hand begins to let go of the lever to the bay door, I see Ben’s shoulders slump, and for just a fleeting moment, he looks away, his eyes cast down, breaking the intense eye contact that has held me in place. And in that moment, my choice is made.

My hand grasping hold of the lever tightly and wrenching it down, activating the bay door to close. I catch one last fleeting glance of Ben, looking up at me, his mouth dropping open as if to speak…silence…until, one small sound, barely a whisper and almost indecipherable. Nevertheless, I hear it as though it were uttered inches from my ear. Not a word, but a slight hitch in his breath, followed by a muffled groan. The sound cut short as the door closes and our Force Bond is severed.

            I stand there for a moment, hearing my own breath come out in ragged and stuttering spurts. My heart beating erratically, I am unsure of how to make sense of what just transpired between Ben and I, or whether or not I am making the right choice…to leave. I know in my head that we must go, get safely away from the First Order, to ensure the Resistance lives on. Nevertheless, my heart says otherwise. I admit to myself that I still believe Ben has good in him, that the vision I saw of his future when we touched hands, could still come true. I mentally shake my head and resolve myself to the decision I have already made, to be the correct one.

            Once we have made it a safe distance away from the planet of Crait, and on our way to some remote part of the galaxy, I join the others on board in the common area of the Falcon. After some brief exchanges between one another and the heart wrenching realization that Luke is gone…do I always have to lose those I care for most…I sit, and watch the others interacting with one another. Forging new bonds and strengthening old ones. I see reflected in their eyes, both despair and hope. This has been a long battle, and we are far from it being over, but there is a commitment in this that the fight will continue. Regardless of there being so few of us left, we know we will prevail.

            Though those I trust and admire most in the galaxy surround me…I suddenly feel so completely and utterly alone. Torn in two…broken…just like the pieces of lightsaber I hold within my hands. Why is it I have spent so much of my life alone, and yet that does not even remotely compare to the feeling I am now experiencing. It is as though a void has opened within me. A hollow expanse that reaches to every nerve and cell of my body. Leaving my feeling numb and empty. I allow myself one passing moment to recognize and acknowledge the true cause of this sensation…what it is that has created this void…who it is that is the only one that can fill it…

 

**_BEN_ **

        I do not know how long I have remained here, stationary, kneeling on the dusty floor of the abandoned Resistance Base. Time has stood still, but I cannot find the strength, nor the will, to rise.

        Seeing her again, Rey, through the Force Bond was not something I had ever expected to experience again. The bridge that Snoke claimed responsibility for, connecting her and I. Somehow, I believed that the connection would have been broken, now that Snoke is no longer, having snuffed out his life in the Throne Room. At that very moment when the lightsaber sliced through his core I felt every influence he ever held over me dissipate like a mist evaporating under a blazing sun. I was no longer under his power, controlled like a child’s toy, no sense of him or his toxic effect lingered. So why has this bond between Rey and I remained? Almost instantly, the answer reveals itself to me. Snoke never created the link; he just claimed credit for something that was already there. Manipulating my emotions once again to keep me squarely under him thumb.

        I recognize now, that the Force Bond Rey and I shared never possessed the same static current sensation that seemed to attached itself to every influence Snoke used over me. Like live wires sparking next to your skin, making your hairs rise and twitch. How could I not have seen that before? Why was it so easy for me to believe him?

        I began looking back to each encounter with Rey. Immersing myself in the memory of every brief moment that we shared. There was always a silence, almost a softness, to the air that surrounded us; a feeling of being cut off completely from the rest of the universe, there was just her…and me. Though the link was never opened, or prompted by either one of us, it felt…right.

        When I saw her before me, so clear, so close, as though I could touch her again if I just approached her, for the first time in all our encounters, I was unable to speak. My words failing me. I took in the every detail of her face, as she watched me before her. I could see her analyzing every emotion that I was feeling and so clearly exposed on my face. My shields down, and unable to put up the defenses that I have perfected, to her, nor wanting to.

        In that moment, I was confused and angry. What was I to do, and why have I let this “girl” have such a profound effect on me. I have allowed her to find her way past my walls and see what I have tried so hard to bury deep inside me. How could I be so foolish, this is not the man I am?

        As I gaze up at her, I let go of the remaining few barricades I had remaining between us, and let her see ME. I open myself to her. It takes all my effort, but silently I attempt communicate to her who she is to me. Seeing confusion on her face, I take a moment, to give her a chance to comprehend. I cast my eyes down to the ground before me, needing a moments reprise from this intense exchange, and take a deep breath. And in that second she began to vanish from view, a physical wall coming up between us, separating us again. I opened my mouth to speak, but I was too late. The only sound I uttered was the sob that escaped my lips, quickly muffled by my gloved hand.

        Now, I sit here, alone, empty, lost. What am I to do now? Once again, the answer comes to me instantly. The answer having been there all along. She is the answer…


	2. Chapter 2

_Months have passed since the Resistance escaped from the First Order on the planet of Crait. They have found refuge and on a remote city planet on the outer reaches of the galaxy. A heavily populated planet where they could easily blend in and resurrect their mission to overthrow the First Order and bring peace to the universe._

_During this time, Rey has felt restless and still somewhat lost. Having not found the answers she was searching for as to what the significance of her placement in this world is. Moreover, her continued connection to Ben has unsettled her, confused her even further. Though they have not spoken with as much frequency, the intensity of the Force Bond has just grown stronger and stronger. Each bridge becoming more vivid and tangible. Rey is now able to sense Ben’s surroundings, as she is sure he can hers. In addition, they are now both able to summon the bond at will. There are times, however, where Rey feels the tug of Ben’s presence, but she cannot see or hear him…somehow though, she knows he is there…watching her. This both scares and excites her, knowing that she is at his mercy._

_Ben accidentally discovered his ability to connect to Rey without her seeing or hearing him. Early one morning he had woken with her on his mind…and wanted to see her…just to put his mind at rest…and then there she was before him. Working away at fixing the engine of some dilapidated speeder, her hair was tied back in a loose bun, to keep it off her face. Tendrils of her hair sticking to her sweat glistened brow and temples. He wanted to reach out and push the hair off her face, but uttered her name instead. There was no reaction from her. He assumed she was too busy to notice. He spoke again, louder this time, to make sure his voice carried over the sound of the machinery that surrounded them. Still nothing. He walked into her line of sight, and watched her closely, looking for any sign of recognition…nothing. She didn’t know he was there. This surprised him to know that he had the power to observe her any time he wished without her knowledge.  However, he only stayed briefly, not want to betray any of the tenuous trust that they have managed to build with one another over the past months._

_Just as he was about to close the bridge, he whispered her name, this time willing her to hear him, and her head immediately swung around…searching for him all around her, yet not seeing him anywhere. He could see the disappointment in her eyes when she realized she must have been imagining that she heard his voice, and resumed her work. This time with more vigor, seemingly working out her frustrations of the poor unsuspecting machine in front of her. A small grin tugged at the corner of Ben’s mouth as he closed the bridge between them._

_Ben has spent his months biding his time, taking solace in what he now truly believes to be the purpose of their bond. Knowing that if he were just to be patient, not an easy trait for him to master, eventually she would come to the same realization he has. He continues to struggle with the battle within himself, and trying to find a way to lead the First Order with the same strength his has exhibited to them since joining the tutelage of Snoke all those years ago. They still fear and venerate him, and he must keep it that way, or risk losing all control. He needs to find equilibrium, some way to find a balance between his responsibility and his desire. He knows though, the time has come, he must find Rey._


End file.
